The Mirror, My Daughter, and the Cycle I Didn’t Mean to Share
A simple glance in the mirror becomes a moment of deep self judgment. And as my face scrunches in disgust, I see my daughter's eyes watching me. The feeling instantly turns to a wave of shame. This is how generational patterns work. We are caught in a cycle we promised to break, suddenly afraid that we are passing on the very story we never wanted to tell. This reflection is about that moment, and how we can find a path to repair, even when we feel we have failed.
The Detective in Your Mind: A Clinical Look at OCD in Motherhood
Your internal detective is not a villain. She is a protector working in overdrive. The OCD is an alarm system, but the wiring is faulty. It rings loudly about dangers that are not actually present. The compulsions are her desperate attempts to silence the alarm and secure a guarantee of safety that can never truly exist. The fear you feel is a measure of your love, turned up to an unbearable volume.
The Nostalgia for Now: On the Bittersweet Ache of Motherhood
“Enjoy every minute.” “The days are long but the years are short.” “Babies don’t keep.”
These words, meant to encourage presence, can become a kind of pressure. They plant a seed of doubt. Am I enjoying this enough? Am I soaking it in correctly? Did I capture the right memory?The joy of the moment becomes secondary to the fear of not honoring it properly. You are suddenly an archivist of your own life, frantically trying to bottle the light before it fades.
Still Waiting for the Makeover? The Millennial Myth of the 'After' Picture
Remember MTV's Made, where a shy teen was turned into a prom queen? Or The Biggest Loser, where dropping 100 pounds meant not just a new body, but a new life, a new identity? Don't even get me started on America's Next Top Model where the approval of a harsh judge about whether you won or lost the genetic lottery was akin to winning the Pulitzer. The story was always the same: your current self, messy and imperfect, is just a "before" shot. The "after" is where the real living happens. It’s where the guy who ignored you suddenly notices you, where a job promotion falls into your lap, and where your entire life is finally validated. They might as well have called those shows, “Take notes on how to not suck, loser.” This wasn't just entertainment; it was a cultural script. And a lot of us are still reading from it.
What Is Trauma-Informed Care?
At its core, trauma-informed care asks us to shift our questions: from ‘What is wrong with you?’ to ‘What happened to you, and how did you survive?’ It’s a framework for creating safety, trust, and empowerment.